Month: January 2021

One of my favorite images of the Conversion of St. Paul is found in the Apostolic Palace and is pictured here. It was painted by Michelangelo between 1542 and 1546. January 25 is a big deal for us Daughters of St Paul. St Paul’s conversion is the only conversion celebrated liturgically and it is such a powerful day for us who try to live the experience of St Paul in intimate prayer and courageous evangelization. For this to happen in our own lives, we too need to go through a Damascus event as did Paul.

At the center of our spirituality is Christ, and his desire to possess us entirely. Every thought pattern and attitude and tendency of our personality. Every desire, preference, behavior…. Everything without exception. This is quite different from making New Year’s resolutions at the beginning of January! In the Conversion of St. Paul it is Christ who comes to meet Paul where he is, in his frailty (although Paul thought he was someone important doing something significant).

There are several aspects of this painting of St. Paul’s conversion by Michelangelo which attract me very deeply. At the top of the image, which doesn’t appear here, is the person of Christ reaching down to Paul through a column of light. There are many people milling around in this image, but Paul is clearly the one who is addressed by Jesus. And Paul is the one who must take responsibility, take the risk, and answer. Isn’t it that way with us, in our unique call from the Lord?

Another aspect of this image which attracts me is the way Paul is almost held by one of the characters in the image. The circular image that is created by the arms of the person reaching down to him, as well as the position of Paul’s body, is almost soft, receptive, intimate. This is not Caravaggio’s strong blinded Paul fallen from his horse. This is a Paul who is being drawn into the mystery of God’s plan for his life and the way God will use Paul to announce the Gospel to the world. It was absolutely moving for me to pray in front of this painting in the Apostolic Palace in the Vatican a couple of years ago, and to see on the other side of the chapel the depiction of the crucifixion of St. Peter. Two men who were flawed and frail and human who allowed God to do with them all that he desired. 

This is what God desires for you and me. We too have our Damascus events. They aren’t as stunning as what we call the conversion of St. Paul, but they can be nonetheless life-changing. I include here a prayer of our community which reflects on the challenge of our own Damascus events.

Light and darkness,

sight and blindness,

power and weakness,

control and surrender.

The “Damascus event” in Paul’s life is often played out in my own,

though in a less dramatic manner.

Lord Jesus, I meet you in so many ways:

sometimes in silence and prayer,

or by stumbling to the ground of my existence.

As I journey through the days of my life,

stop me,

call out my name,

send me your dazzling light,

and take hold of me as you took hold of Paul.

Even when I kick against the goad,

even when I lack courage or when fatigue overtakes me,

even when I fall again or lose my way—

in all these moments I trust that you are with me

and that your grace is sufficient for me.

Like Paul, let me know how to be companioned by others,

allowing myself to be led by those who can point out the way to you.

Help me to be willing to listen to what you are saying to me through them.

As you sent Paul on mission, I ask that you send me forth,

to those persons with whom I am to share your Gospel.

Give me, like you gave Paul, the words and gestures

that will reveal your mercy to me,

and the love you bear for every person you have redeemed.

Contact the author

In this Sunday’s readings, three particular lines stand out to me. 

In the First Reading, “Teach me your ways, O Lord.” Too commonly do we rely on our own understanding, failing to place our trust in Him, particularly in the more difficult times. Yet even in the simpler tasks of day-to-day life, we can also forget to ask for His help and guidance. Can we take a moment now to reflect on this request, always trying to learn from our Lord, regardless of whether circumstances are easier or harder?

In the second, “The world in its present form is passing away.” Just prior, this passage speaks of those using the world as not using it fully. Or rather, I think we often again are too distracted by some parts of the world in place of others. In a recent Kindergarten science class, the discussion of the word “naturalistic” came up. The man-made advances of technology for example, often hide us from the beauty God has given us through nature. But more so is that we are distracted by even each other’s ways rather than God’s ways for us. We fear death and what is to come after this life. Why? For if we truly love God above all, shouldn’t we be ready to embrace our Father at any and all times?

Finally,  “Come after me, and I will make you fishers of men.” Jesus is the epitome of the Word and He evangelizes through the Disciples, sharing His message of love for all people. He asks us to do the same, though this again may be a formidable task for us if we are not truly dedicated to His teachings. Fear and distraction may often offset us from following His instruction in our current circumstances. May we pray for His guidance and strength to act as the Apostles did, having inspiration and living in the joy of His peace, which is all glorious and eternal.

Contact the author